Reminiscence
by rosegrl234
Summary: He was going to kill her, he reminded himself suddenly. He was going to kill her and make all these unpleasant feelings vanish. The very thought of watching the life fade out of her bright green eyes made him want to laugh and cry. StrscrmXAlxs REVIEW!
1. Chapter 1

**Reminiscence**

Starscream walked through the rubble without really seeing anything.

He knew what he was going to do. He had known since he first arrived on this ridiculous, worm-infested planet.

Images of a girl kept resurfacing in his mind, and when they came up so did unpleasant emotions. It wasn't even a normal femme, but a _human_.

He cringed in disgust, thinking of how stupid he must have been before he had lost all his memories.

Well, all of them except for _her_.

He kept walking, feeling a sense of nostalgia arise as he looked at remnants of a research center on top of a mountain. The large satellite had fallen over and most of the roof had collapsed. He stopped and stared at it for a minute, the breeze blowing loose sand against his legs.

He was going to kill this girl, he reminded himself suddenly. He was going to kill her and make all these unpleasant feelings vanish. The very thought of watching the life fade out of her bright green eyes and her skinny, pale limbs go limp made him want to laugh and cry at the same time.

He couldn't have that. He was Starscream, the fearsome Decepticon, and the bot that no one challenged if they wanted to survive.

He continued walking, tearing his optics away from the sad building and towards the large expanse of trees on the horizon.

He would find her there, he was sure of it. Sitting on the large rock that he always used to sit on when he wanted to be alone. She was always doing things like that; running over to him even after all of the minicons had left him.

It didn't matter how harsh his tone was or how much he insisted that she leave him alone. She would run over to him, smile, and talk to him like he was someone she cared about.

He ended up betraying her. He remembered that.

She still considered them friends though; on Cybertron before Unicron was destroyed she waited for him. He had saved her, and then when they said their goodbyes he remembered the look on her face—

"Stop," Starscream said aloud. "Stop it."

He stopped walking.

"Pull yourself together, Starscream," he muttered under his breath. "She's a human. Just a stupid, stupid human!"

He took a few deep breaths, and then he started walking again.

He was almost there.

Starscream fought to keep his mind blank. If any memories of the girl surfaced, he knew he wouldn't be able to do it.

'_Funny_,' he thought, '_I remember everything except her name_.'

And that was when he walked through the last bit of trees, and saw the rock.

The setting sun made the canyon look like it was on fire and shadows stretched along the rocky walls. It was just as he remembered it.

She wasn't waiting for him, though.

His spark tightened inside his chest plate, and he felt disappointment crush down on him before he could stop it.

'_Why fight it?_' he thought, letting out a long breath.

Slowly, he dragged himself over to the rock and stared at it for a second, trying to will the girl to appear.

She didn't.

He sat down heavily and looked out over the vast, empty landscape.

There had been so much he wished she knew.

It was because of her that he switched sides a second time.

She was the reason he had died in his battle against Megatron.

He wanted to see her again, more than anything else in the entire universe.

*************

**_A/N: So, this is just a shot in the dark. Kinda. I was trying to make a one-shot but I didn't feel like finishing this. If you want me too, just comment! I won't write if you don't comment! So comment! I would really appreciate it if you just, you know, left a _****comment**. Anyway! Tell me what you think! BYE!


	2. Chapter 2

**Dreaming**

"_Hey! Starscream!"_

_Starscream turned at the sound of his name, his optics searching for the source. He groaned inwardly when he realized who it was. That darn human girl just would not leave him alone! _

_The girl ran over to him, her brown hair wild and her clothes covered in what looked like grease. Her eyes were bright, as usual, but her face was much more flushed from running. Overall, she was a complete mess._

"_What in Primus's name did you do to yourself?" Starscream asked, sneering at her ridiculous appearance._

"_I was hanging out with some of the new minicons!" the girl answered, smiling brightly. "I'm beginning to learn how to understand them! It's so incredible! You seem to be on good terms with your minicons, how long did it take you to start understanding them?"_

_Starscream stared at her. What was she talking about? Why would anyone need to understand minicons? They're programmed to work for Cybertronians, not think or feel things like normal bots._

"_I, uh, guess I never really thought about 'understanding' them," he said, tilting his head to the side a bit. "They are only workers, after all."_

_The girl, for the first time since she had begun annoying him, frowned._

"_You mean you never try talking to them?" she asked, placing her hands on her skinny hips. "That's stupid."_

_Starscream glared at her, his red optics flashing with impatience._

"_Do not speak like you are better than me, girl," he said, standing up and turning away from her. _

_The girl ran in front of him, preventing him from walking any further._

"_What," she asked, glaring up at him, "Is your problem with me?"_

_Starscream stared. What was wrong with this human? He towered over her in size, had the strength to flick her across this entire canyon, and was wiser than her in every way. _

_Why was she so stupidly testing him?_

"_You're persistence is nothing but a nuisance to me," he said, crossing his arms over his metal chest and meeting her glare with his own. His was much more frightening. "Why you bother me more than any other bot—even more than that yellow one—is beyond me, seeing as how I have made it clear to you on numerous occasions that you are a hindrance." _

_The girl's shoulders slumped and she looked down at her feet, her ears turning bright red. _

"_I just thought you needed some company," she said lamely, refusing to meet his relentless glare. "You're always by yourself, and Optimus told us what happened when Megatron abandoned you."_

_Starscream blanked. _

"_You thought I needed company?" he repeated, forgetting his annoyance for a split second. Then he remembered. "I don't need your pity." _

_The girl looked up at him, squaring her shoulders._

"_I know," she said, "But you're my friend, so I want you to be happy."_

_Friend? Happy? _

_Had there ever been a time when he was happy? This delusional, weak human actually believed that she could succeed in helping him accomplish a goal that he had no desire to reach. He was happy destroying things he hated, as was any Decepticon. She was of no use to him._

"_Don't give me that look," she said suddenly, jolting him out of his thoughts. "I can help you! I'm not as weak as you think I am!"_

_To help prove her point, she walked over to a rock only slightly bigger than a pebble and picked it up—only to drop it on her foot._

_She let out a short yell and clutched her injured foot, hopping around like a crazy, malfunctioning minicon. _

_He laughed._

_

* * *

  
_

Starscream woke with a start, expecting to see the girl hobbling around and trying her best to hide the look of embarrassment on her small face.

Then he remembered where he was, and the memory was immediately pushed to the back of his mind with all the others.

He looked around. Night had fallen over the canyon, and above him the stars twinkled pleasantly. The crescent moon looked like nothing more than a small rip in the endless expanse of black sky, casting very little light. He had no memory of falling into stasis, but somehow he had managed to clear his mind long enough for him to feel somewhat relaxed.

Starscream sighed and stood up.

'_What now?' _he thought, looking out at the barren landscape.

He was all alone. The Autobots had probably forgotten him, and Megatron wanted him offline after all those things he had said to him.

He let his eyes travel down to his feet, staring at the loose rocks and dirt.

What was the point in staying online?

"Hey," Starscream said quietly, looking back at the horizon. "Is anyone here?"

No answer. Not that he had been expecting one. The silence continued to weigh down on him and his ears were ringing.

Suddenly, he stood up and walked to the very edge of the canyon.

"Hey!" he yelled, his voice echoing off the rocky walls. "Is anyone out there?"

His vocal processors ached. His spark hurt. Nothing, absolutely nothing, was working right now. He wasn't going to kill the girl, he absolutely couldn't. He wasn't strong enough.

Besides, he wasn't ever going to get a chance to. She must have gone offline. She was fragile, just like every other human creature.

"Hello Starscream."

Starscream whirled around, nearly falling over the steep ledge. He strained his optics for the source of the voice, but it was too dark and his night vision was broken.

"Who's there?" he asked, taking his sword out of its sheath. "Show yourself!"

For a moment, everything was still. Then, a figure moved from behind a rock.

"Always so defensive," the figure said, stepping forward. "Some things never change."

'_That voice,'_ Starscream thought, his grip tightening on the hilt of his saber.

"Step forward," Starscream said, narrowing his optics.

The figure stepped forward.

Starscream inhaled sharply, his legs starting to shake. The girl, _the girl_, stared up at him calmly.

Her green eyes were shining in the starlight and her skin was so fair she looked like a ghost. Her brown hair was longer than he remembered, ending just above her shoulders.

Every memory of her suddenly broke through all of his carefully composed defenses and flooded his brain. He froze as he remembered the one thing he had tried the hardest to forget all those stellar cycles ago.

"_Alexis_?" he whispered, his lips barely moving.

Alexis smiled at him, causing his spark to ache with blissful happiness, and nodded.

******

_**A/N: **__So…I think I might just make this into a short story! Or I might end it here, depends on how many reviews I get. THANK YOU to all of those people who reviewed! As for the rest of you 62 visitors, I WON'T WRITE IF YOU DON'T __REVIEW__! SO __REVIEW__, GOSH DARN IT! _

_Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think! _


	3. Chapter 3

**Growing: Part 1**

"The day you died, I grew up," Alexis said, sitting on one of his broad shoulders.

He was silent, looking straight ahead but still absorbing every word she said. It was almost disgusting how much power she had over him.

"Rad, I don't know if you remember him, he helped me a lot. I wasn't very good at dealing with your self-sacrifice by myself," she continued, her hand going up to rub the green stone around her neck. "I ended up getting involved in politics, and even helped pass a treaty between your race and us humans."

'_Typical, weak human, depending on others too much, can't take care of herself, emotional,_' the insults whirled inside his mind, but they were easy to ignore.

_Too_ easy to ignore, in his opinion as a Decepticon.

Alexis turned to look at him, her green eyes brightening. He felt his spark tighten.

"What happened, Starscream?" she asked, her voice soft. "Why would you do that to yourself?"

Starscream tensed, tearing his optics away from her and looking instead at the endless sky.

"Why does it matter?" he asked slowly, feeling her eyes on him. "The universe was saved, you made it back to your planet with your other human friends, and Cybertron has had the chance to be rebuilt. The end justified the means, Alexis."

"There must have been another way," Alexis muttered, lowering her eyes.

"No," he said quietly. "There wasn't."

They were both silent. He wanted to tell her things about himself, about how he felt, but no Decepticon could ever share such personal information.

"Starscream?"

Starscream looked over at Alexis, fighting to keep his expression unreadable.

"Why did you come back here?"

Starscream froze, emotions whirling around inside of him. How was it that she was so calm, and he was having trouble controlling the urge to hold her against his chest and never let go? Could it be that after all these stellar cycles she had grown tired of waiting for him to come back?

"Would you prefer I didn't?" he asked her, narrowing his optics and glaring at her.

"Of course not," she said, unfazed by his look. "I've missed you like crazy, Starscream."

"Then why ask something like that?"

"I'm curious," she shrugged, her shirt falling a little and revealing her bare shoulders.

He looked away, taking a few deep breaths. This wasn't fair. Why was she acting so nonchalant?

This wasn't the girl from his memories.

"To kill you," he said truthfully.

Alexis was quiet.

"I came back here to kill you," he repeated, looking over at her. "I'm a Decepticon, Alexis. I can't be emotionally compromised for any reason. The only memories I had when I awoke were of you, of the times when you would come and annoy me."

He saw Alexis slip for the first time that night, her eyes widening.

"Really?" she asked, the corners of her pretty pink lips turning up into a small smirk. "And you always told me I was a nuisance! Serves you right!"

Starscream snorted at her lame attempt to lighten the air. He could feel the unease radiating off of her now, and he craved more. He wanted to scare her; he wanted to make her feel something, _anything_ that would bring her back.

"I had it all planned out," he said, his red optics boring into her beautiful green orbs. "I wanted nothing more than to watch you die and make all these unpleasant feelings go away."

"You wouldn't do that," Alexis said quickly. "You can't kill humans."

"I'm a _Decepticon_, Alexis," Starscream scoffed. "I've killed more creatures than you can even imagine."

"No, you're not. Right before you died you switched sides," she said, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them in a tight hug. "You're an Autobot."

Starscream stared at her.

"That's…impossible," he choked out.

Alexis smiled at him, watching him closely.

"You were always an Autobot," she said. "Optimus understood you, trusted you to the very end, and I—"

She stopped short.

Starscream stared at her, silently urging her to continue. She was silent, her lips pressed firmly into a straight line.

"You _what_?" Starscream finally asked.

Alexis still refused to answer him. The only noise came from the wind whistling through the canyon, swirling Alexis's dark hair around her face.

"Starscream?" she said finally, looking up at him.

Starscream said nothing, choosing instead to glare at her. She wasn't answering his question, why should he answer hers?

"You said you came back to kill me, right?"

Starscream didn't miss the slight shudder as she spoke, and he felt a mix of guilt and pride mesh together inside of him.

"Correct," he said.

"You came to kill me because you were 'emotionally compromised,'" she continued, giving him a chance to change his story.

He didn't.

"Correct again," he said, a steely edge to his voice.

Why was she asking all these stupid, repetitive questions?

"By 'emotionally compromised,' did you mean love?"

Starscream stared at her, his jaw slack, feeling as if the ground had been pulled out from underneath him. Alexis's ears turned a dark shade of pink, as did her cheeks, but she held his gaze.

"Did you love me?" Alexis repeated, after a few tense seconds of complete silence.

Starscream didn't know what happened. One minute his mouth was hanging open, and the next it was moving.

"Yes," he said, and it wasn't until the word left his lips that he realized it was true.

*****

_**A/N: **__Hello! Thanks for everyone who reviewed! It really motivated me to finish this chapter!! : D The more __**reviews**__ I get, the more motivated I feel, and the more motivated I feel, the more I __**write**__. It's a very simple proces!!!_

_Haha, sorry, that was my lame attempt at humor. _

_I don't know how much longer this story is going to go on, but I must say I have fallen in love with this couple! I think Starscream and Alexis are so cute! ^_^_

_I've been thinking about a more complex story line that I'll introduce in the upcoming chapters, I know that this is probably getting a little redundant! DO NOT WORRY! IT WILL GET BETTER! _

_Peace out my readers! I LOVE YOU ALL! 3_

_Oh, and YES, Alexis is from the Transformers Armada series, for those of you who have asked me! And yes, this is a few years after the kids go back to Earth so Alexis has grown some! _


	4. Chapter 4

_**Warning: some swearing in this chapter. Let's be mature here, people! Thank you and carry on!**_

**Growing: Part 2**

Starscream froze.

'_What have I done? What. Have. I. Done.'_

Before Alexis could speak, he reached over and grabbed her in his hand. She let out a short cry when his fist closed around her small waist. He needed to stand up. He needed to get away.

"Wait! Starscream stop!"

He could feel her heart hammering against his metal hand. Her eyes were wide and fixated on his face, but he couldn't meet her gaze. She had tricked him. She had gotten him to say his deepest secret aloud.

"Starscream, look at me."

Starscream stared at the ground, refusing to look over at Alexis. He was still sitting, he realized. Wasn't the whole point of grabbing Alexis and moving her off of him to stand up? He wanted to get away from her.

"Starscream, will you just look at me?" Alexis pleaded, her skinny arms reaching out to grab some part of him.

Starscream lowered her to the ground, shaking her off of him when she tried to hold on tighter. He couldn't stay here in front of her, he couldn't listen to her reasons on why they would never be able to be together, and he definitely couldn't explain what had just happened.

He stood up. The world was spinning around him and his legs felt weak, but he started walking nonetheless.

"Starscream! Wait! Where are you going?"

'_Away,'_ he thought, not trusting himself enough to speak. '_Far away from you, from everything that reminds me of you!' _

He walked faster, disappearing into the small forest he had walked through earlier. Everything looked different in the dark, but he was able to make out the narrow path.

"Starscream!"

He heard Alexis start to follow him and slip every now and then on a loose rock or large root. Finally, she fell.

"Starscream, please! Please just wait!"

Alexis hadn't gotten back up to follow him, and he thought she had finally given up. But before he could take another step, he felt something hit the back of his head.

Starscream didn't turn around, but he did stop. So, she was going to resort to childish tactics like throwing stones to get him to cooperate? Hadn't she told him his death caused her to grow up?

"Stupid human," he muttered, loud enough for her to hear, before he started walking again.

For a moment, everything was silent. The wind died down, the crickets stopped singing, and the leaves in the trees stood still. Then, he heard Alexis let out a pitiful whimper and take a few shaky breaths.

Starscream froze.

"Starscream," Alexis called softly, her voice breaking. "Starscream, please don't."

Starscream, against every rational thought in his mind, turned his head slightly so he could see her out of the corner of his optics.

Alexis was on the ground, her brown hair falling around her pretty face, and she was crying.

He watched the tears fall down her cheeks, his whole body freezing up. He hadn't meant to make her cry.

"Don't leave me again."

He nearly fell over backwards.

"Please, don't—ah!"

Starscream had scooped her up in his hands faster than she could blink. She stared up at him, holding onto his left thumb, and tried her best to stop crying.

"Why does it matter to you?" he snarled, his optics flashing. "You have been acting like seeing me alive again is about as interesting as watching grass grow! Why ask me something like that and beg me not to leave when it's so obvious you could care less?"

Alexis stared up at him, her jaw slack. She blinked once, twice, then—

"You _jerk_!" she screamed, balling her hands into fists. "How dare you say that I 'could care less'? You're death was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with! I loved you, you asshole! I've never stopped loving you since the day I was returned to this Hellhole! Do you have any idea how hard it was to pretend that nothing had happened, because I couldn't tell _anyone_ about the transformers, when my heart felt like it was ripped out of my chest? No, you probably don't! Because you're too much of a coward to allow yourself to feel anything besides hatred! That's the _real_ reason you wanted to kill me, isn't it? You're just scared someone will find out you actually have a heart!"

Starscream stood completely still while Alexis took a few deep breaths, her face a dark shade of red from all the oxygen she had lost while yelling at him. He half expected her to start screaming at him again, but she remained silent. She had stopped crying, which he was thankful for, but now she was glaring up at him.

It was silent, and he realized it was probably in his best interest to say something.

"You're accusations are," Starscream cleared his throat, "Correct."

Alexis nodded but remained silent.

"I couldn't have the other Decepticons thinking that I had gone soft," he continued, never looking away from her. "I thought that by killing you, I would be able to prove to them that nothing, not even strong emotions, could ever hold me down."

He looked away from her and up at the few stars he could see through the thick foliage.

"I am a coward," he whispered morosely, "And a fool."

Alexis was quiet, but he felt her relax in his hands. He looked back down at her, and she offered him a comforting smile.

"Yes," she agreed, "You are a cowardly fool, but you could be _my_ cowardly fool, if you wanted to."

Starscream blanched.

"You could become my guardian," Alexis reiterated. "You could be my sworn partner and keep me safe from the Decepticons."

"I am—"

"An _Autobot_," Alexis finished for him. "Remember?"

Starscream paused, meeting Alexis' determined gaze with him uncertain one.

"They will not accept me," Starscream said at last. "I have done too many treacherous things."

"Well, why don't we just go and ask them?" Alexis offered, smiling again. "If you want to be my Guardian, I mean."

Starscream looked at her, taking in her small frame, large green eyes, and confident smile. And for the first time in a long, long time, he smiled back at her.

"I wish to be your Guardian," Starscream said. "Now lets go find the Autobots."

_**A/N**__: I AM SORRY IT HAS TAKEN ME SO LONG! I promised you faithful readers/ reviewers that it would get more interesting, and I deliver! I feel a road trip coming on (and some more characters)! I apologize if this chapter was a let down, I wrote most of it between the hours of 1-2 in the morning, so I can't guarantee that the grammar is all there…I tried my best!_

_PLEASE REVIEW! REVIEWS MAKE ME HAPPY! REVIEWS MOTIVATE ME TO NOT WRITE AT 1-2 IN THE MORNING SO THE STUFF YOU READ DOESN'T SUCK!!! _

_Thank you! :D _


	5. Chapter 5

**Miracles and Falling**

"Are you _sure_ this is a good idea?" Starscream asked Alexis, leaning up against the wall right outside her bedroom window.

Alexis had insisted on going home and packing some clothes, even though she already had some at the base and it would only take a few hours to get there with Starscream's help.

"There's a stop I have to make first," she had told him, but she wouldn't say more than that when he asked.

"Alexis, I don't like being out in the open," Starscream told her, looking around nervously.

Alexis lived in a secluded area, but the town wasn't too far away. If anyone should drive by they would see a large ex-Decepticon leaning against the home of a very famous politician.

"Starscream, relax," Alexis called from inside her room. "I told you, the world has already been exposed to your race. You have nothing to worry about."

"I have a lot to worry about with _this_," he gestured to the purple insignia on his chest, even though she couldn't see. "Your race has been told the Autobots are the protectors, correct?"

He heard Alexis sigh and walk over towards the window. A second later she stuck her head out and looked up at him, her hair tied back in a short ponytail.

"I've made it clear to people that there were some good Decepticons," she said. "Being a spokesperson for an alien race has its perks."

Starscream let out a huff and held his hand up against the window so Alexis could slide out. She did so, swinging a large duffle bag over her shoulder. Her necklace caught the early morning light and the green stone sparkled brightly.

"I remember that necklace," Starscream said suddenly. "You had it with you inside Cybertron's moon."

Alexis, for some strange reason, blushed and self-consciously covered the stone with her hand.

"My good-luck charm," she said, and after a short pause added, "It's the stone you brought back from Mars."

Starscream stared at her.

"Mars," he repeated, his brow furrowed. "That's…still a little fuzzy."

Alexis sighed.

"Don't worry, Star," she said, smiling. "We'll get you all fixed up in no time!"

Starscream cringed at the nickname.

"Don't call me 'Star'," he said. "That sounds like some ditzy pop icon you Earth girls seem to worship."

Alexis laughed, leaning back in his hand. He moved away from the house, trying to find a good spot for him to take off.

"Well then, what do you _not_ mind me calling you as a nickname?"

"Screamer."

The name slipped out before he realized what he was saying. Somewhere in the back of his mind he remembered people calling him that, fellow comrades.

However, it didn't seem like it was going to stick with Alexis, since it was her turn to cringe at the suggested name.

"That sounds scary," she said, pursing her lips in concentration. "How about…"

"Am I not scary?" Starscream asked, looking over at her with wide optics.

"Maybe just 'SS' or 'S'," Alexis thought aloud, completely ignoring Starscream's question.

"I'm not scary enough for a name like 'Screamer'?" he asked again, this time gently nudging her side with one large finger.

"You're terrifying," Alexis told him, still lost in her own thoughts. "Absolutely frightening."

Starscream sighed and rubbed his optics with his free hand. This girl was something else.

"Look, forget the nickname for a minute, where do you need to go before we head over to the Autobot base?" Starscream asked.

Alexis snapped out of her dreamland and looked up at him.

"Promise me you won't freak out," she said.

"If I have to promise you not to freak out, I'm obviously going to freak out," he told her. "It's inevitable. Especially with this new connection! You didn't tell me it was going to be this strong!"

Ever since he had agreed to become Alexis's guardian he had felt strange. If he lost sight of her even for a minute he started to panic. When she was in her room changing, he needed to hear her voice in order to calm himself down. In the short time that had passed, she had turned into the center of his universe.

"You're not the only one feeling it," Alexis mumbled, then cleared her throat. "I need to go see a special person in order to get you a cloaking device and a holoform activator."

"Won't they have those at the base?"

"We won't make it to the base if we get seen on radar," she said, rubbing her necklace in between her thumb and forefinger. "The woman knows I'm coming, and I've gone there before without incident, but I just should warn you before we go."

"Warn me about what?" Starscream asked.

"The woman, Miracle is her name, she is a professional hunter," Alexis told him.

"What does she hunt?" he asked, not liking the way Alexis was nervously rubbing her necklace.

Alexis was quiet for a moment.

"Decepticons," she said, not meeting his gaze.

* * *

Alexis looked over her shoulder, once, before walking over to the small, concrete building. Starscream was in his jet mode, hiding in a small patch of trees only a few meters away. Luckily for them, Miracle tended to stay under the radar and thus stayed in out-of-the-way places.

"Alexis? Can you hear me?" Starscream said through Alexis's radio earpiece.

Another toy that Miracle had so graciously set her up with.

"Loud and clear, Starscream," Alexis said, smiling at the sound of his voice.

"How far are you from the building? I can't see anything because of these stupid trees," Starscream grumbled.

"Leave the trees alone," Alexis said. "This'll only take a minute. I'll keep this line open so you can hear what's going on, but don't say anything. I can't get distracted."

Starscream was silent, which Alexis took as his agreement.

She quickly walked the rest of the way to the building. All she needed to do was get in, get the stuff, and get out.

She stopped at the entrance to the building, a large steel door with a small window for the security guard to look through, and knocked.

The window was opened and a pair of eyes looked down at her.

"Can I help you?" the guard asked with a very thick Russian accent.

Miracle had a strong liking for men from Russia.

"I have an appointment with Miracle," Alexis said, squaring her shoulders and staring up at the eyes. "It's of the upmost importance."

"Ah, yes, Madame Alexis," the guard said after a short pause. "One moment, if you please."

The window closed and the door opened a second later, allowing her access.

"Thank you," she said to the guard, a big, burly man with the Russian flag tattooed to his arm.

"Madame Miracle is vaiting for you in her office," the guard informed her.

"Thank you," Alexis repeated, offering him a small smile before turning away and walking down the long hallway.

Out of all the people she had met after becoming a politician, Miracle was by far the most interesting. She had come to Alexis at the most prestigious government party of the year, the anniversary of the Cybertron-Earth Treaty.

Miracle hadn't been invited, but that didn't stop her from showing up. She was the belle of the ball, dancing with every male official under the age of eighty, and no one realized that she didn't belong there.

Alexis smiled at the memory, having reached Miracle's office.

She knocked twice and waited.

"Come in!"

Alexis took a deep breath and opened the door.

"Hello, Miracle," Alexis greeted pleasantly.

Miracle was lounging on her favorite mahogany fainting couch at the back of the room. She was dressed in a long, blue, silk kimono that showed off her slender figure and her short blonde hair was pushed back from her face with a matching blue headband.

"Alexis," Miracle said slowly, a lazy smile making its way across her pixie-like face. "It's been too long."

She extended one long, pale arm to her faithful partner, James, who pulled her gently to her feet from where he stood behind the couch.

James, a tall, muscular brunette that was never far from a weapon or Miracle, had been with Miracle since the very beginning. They had been childhood friends and James had followed her into the hunting business shortly after his parents died. Alexis suspected James had feelings for Miracle, but she had never seen him act upon them.

"Yes, much too long," Alexis agreed, smiling at Miracle's elegant appearance.

"I understand that you are looking for a cloaking device and a holoform activator," Miracle said, walking over to a tall bureau on the far side of the room. "I have plenty of cloaking devices, but holoform activators are a little more challenging to come by. I'm afraid most of mine are a bit defective."

"The holoform activator isn't our major priority," Alexis said. "If you don't have one I can always pick one up at the base. The cloaking device is more important."

She heard Starscream hiss in her ear, "You said '_our_'."

Miracle turned from the bureau and stared at Alexis, blue eyes narrowed dangerously. For a moment, the room was filled with a tense silence.

"You found him, didn't you?" Miracle asked finally. "That Decepticon you're always thinking about."

Alexis stiffened and fought to keep her expression unreadable. Miracle didn't let up, giving Alexis one of her famous soul-ripping glares.

"He's not a Decepticon, Miracle," Alexis said, her heart pounding. "He's an Autobot."

Miracle glared at her for another minute before sighing and moving back towards the bureau.

"Well, if that's the case then I have no reason not to help you," she decided. "I thought I was going to finally get some excitement! Things have been so quiet recently, but you know what they say!"

"What do they say?" Alexis asked, breathing a sigh of relief.

Miracle turned to her, cloaking device in hand, and grinned.

"When there's one, there's usually more," Miracle said. "Come back again, darling! I do love spending time with you!"

"Right, thank you," Alexis said absentmindedly, taking the cloaking device. "I'll…stop by again soon. Goodbye, Miracle, James."

And with that, Alexis turned and hurried out of the building with Miracle's words ringing in her mind.

"_When there's one, there's usually more!"_

* * *

"You've been unusually quiet," Starscream noted as they neared the Autobot base.

Alexis looked at the control board in front of her in the small cockpit, where Starscream's voice had come from. He sounded tired, and she had noticed that his reflexes were getting considerably slower as time passed.

"I was just thinking," she said, reaching up to stretch her stiff arms. "How long until we get there?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," he grumbled. "I'm barely functioning right now."

"Just try and make it to the base. I think I might have a GPS tracker in my bag," Alexis said as she dug through her large duffle bag. "Aha! Here we go!"

Neither said anything as Alexis busied herself in punching in the coordinates of the base. Outside, thunder rumbled in the distance. Large, gray storm clouds had begun rolling across the sky, almost completely blocking out the sun.

"Ok, so we've been flying for about two hours. Tranquility is two and a half hours from Miracle's place," Alexis said. "Can you make it another half hour?"

Starscream was silent. Alexis waited for him to speak, assuming he was just calculating how much power he had left.

"_Energon levels at 20 percent and dropping._"

Alexis froze.

"Starscream?"

"_19 percent and dropping._"

"Starscream, what is going on?" Alexis asked, trying to control the pitch of her voice.

Suddenly, the seat harness wrapped around her before she could move. She gasped, her fingers working at the constricting straps in an attempt to loosen them. Lightening flashed across the sky as thick drops of water splattered against the windshield, completely blinding Alexis from everything outside the cockpit.

"_17 percent and dropping._"

"Starscream!" Alexis cried, breaking out into a cold sweat. "Answer me, damnit!"

Starscream didn't answer. Instead, Alexis felt her stomach rise to her throat when the jet went into a nosedive.

The sudden movement sent her duffle bag flying, and because of the harness she couldn't move out of the way. It hit her squarely in the head, suffocating her for a few seconds, before the dive got deeper and the bag hit the roof.

The last thing she heard was: "_Energon levels 16 percent and dropping. Immediate medical attention necessary. Crash landing procedure: engaged._"

Then, everything went black.

*****

_**A/N: **__Dun dun DUUUUN! CLIFFHANGER! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!_

_So I've recently been going on Deviantart to get some inspiration and get in touch with my inner Starscream, because I feel like I might be making him a little too OOC-esque. Anyway, I saw a whole bunch of drawings that people had made for their favorite fanfiction stories. _

_And it got me thinking…hey, I can't draw, but maybe one of my devoted readers can! So if anyone who has a deviantart or an account on an art website would like to make an illustration that goes along with the story, I would love you forever! (I would also include a link for the drawing in the upcoming chapters and on my profile page…if that helps entice someone!)_

_Of course I already love you guys forever for just clicking this and reading my story, and I know drawing quality stuff is hard and time consuming, but if anyone wants to draw something send me a PM with the link of the drawing or if you have any questions about it! _

_You know the drill! REVIEW PLEASE! :D _


	6. Chapter 6

**Raining in the Desert**

"Optimus sir, we've got a problem."

Optimus Prime bit back a sigh and turned to look down at a very nervous soldier.

"Continue," Optimus said with a nod.

"Right, well," the soldier cleared his throat and swallowed audibly. "It seems that Miracle has decided to pay us a visit."

Optimus sighed, not bothering to hold it back, and rubbed the bridge of his nose with one hand.

"Where is she now?" he asked.

"Interrogation room."

Optimus looked back at the soldier, optics wide.

"Interrogation? What did she do?"

The soldier, no longer looking nervous, glowered.

"She may have caused a bot to go offline," he said.

"Who?" Optimus demanded, his spark twisting uncomfortably.

"Starscream," the soldier told him. "And Alexis was with him."

* * *

Alexis opened her eyes slowly, her head throbbing.

It was dark, and she slowly became aware of the fact that she was not where she should have been. She also noticed that she was freezing, her body shivering uncontrollably.

She felt slick, wet pine needles beneath her and could make out a tall tree up above. Funny, she didn't remember there being any pine trees near the base.

"You're awake."

Alexis turned her head towards the sound of the voice, instantly regretting it when a sharp pain shot through her temples.

Not too far away was a skinny man with shaggy black hair and pale skin. He was watching her intently, water dripping from his clothes and the ends of his hair.

It was still raining, Alexis suddenly realized. That would explain why her clothes felt so heavy and breathing normally was a little challenging.

"Who are you?" Alexis mumbled, her teeth chattering and her lips numb.

The man said nothing; instead he walked forward and stood over her. The water from his hair dripped onto her face and she would have shivered, had she not been shaking so badly already.

"Where's your GPS?" he asked softly.

Alexis blanched.

"Plane," she croaked.

She heard the man curse and suddenly he was gone. She tried to push herself up into a sitting position, but her arms felt like rubber. A minute later, the man was back.

She felt him gently worm his arms under her stiff body and lift her up off the cold ground. She would have struggled, but she was so tired all she wanted to do was sleep.

And this man, whoever he was, was really, really warm…

"I'll get you to the base, Alexis," she heard him whisper, "I promise."

"Cold," she muttered into his chest, "I'm cold."

"Just hang on a little longer, Alexis," the man said a little more urgently. "Try and stay awake."

She knew that the man was right, staying awake was the smartest thing to do, but she had never been this exhausted before. Her limbs felt like they were made of lead and she was surprised the man was able to carry her.

"Alexis, are you awake?"

'_Yes,'_ she thought, but she couldn't get her lips to form the word.

A second later, she was sound asleep.

* * *

"You're blaming this on a mistake?" Major Lennox asked slowly, staring at the attractive blonde sitting across the metal table from him. "You say you gave them the wrong device by accident?"

Miracle, dressed in a simple, tight, black dress with a matching black headband and sapphire teardrop earrings, nodded once. James stood behind her, glaring at Major Lennox.

"Alexis came to me asking for a cloaking device," Miracle said. "I thought I had given her one, but after she left I realized that the device I had actually given her was an energon drainer."

"You mixed up a cloaking device with an energon-drainer?" Lennox asked, his voice tight. "Miracle, we both know that is highly unlikely! You deal with equipment like that all the time! Now both Starscream and Alexis might be dead!"

"Oops," Miracle said slowly, her bright blue eyes flashing.

Lennox could feel his blood boil with every second he sat across from Miracle. He felt a tap at his shoulder and whirled around, glaring and snapping, "_What_?"

Optimus' holoform, an attractive muscular man with black hair, stared back at him, one eyebrow raised. Lennox relaxed slightly, embarrassment causing him to forget how frustrated he felt.

"Care for me to take over?" Optimus asked dryly.

"Be my guest," Lennox grumbled, standing and walking out of the room.

Optimus waited until he heard the door slam shut before looking at Miracle.

"That looks good on you," Miracle nodded, her red lips turned up into the tiniest of smiles. "I always thought your holoform would have black hair."

"I appreciate the flattery," Optimus said, sitting down in the seat Lennox had abandoned, "But I was just made aware of the fact that you might have caused one of my men and our spokesperson to go down somewhere in Nevada. Care to explain?"

Miracle pursed her lips into a childlike pout and leaned back in her seat.

"No one believes me," she muttered, crossing her arms over her chest. "I honestly didn't mean to mix them up! I love Alexis, the two of us are very good friends! I just couldn't stop thinking about how much danger Alexis was in with _him_."

"Starscream has been in love with Alexis for stellar cycles," Optimus told her. "You must have realized that. There was no way he would have hurt her. And draining all his energon while he was flying would not have made her any safer."

Miracle's pout turned to a hard glare, but Optimus was not intimidated. After dealing with her for so long, her looks had very little affect on him.

"Your actions were completely inappropriate, Miracle," Optimus continued. "And you better pray that those two are alive and well when we find them."

"_If_ you find them," James said, speaking for the first time. "Starscream was already in bad shape. I doubt his navigation systems were working, so there's really no telling where they are."

Miracle turned in her seat and gave him a look.

"Why didn't you tell me that?" she asked.

"You wouldn't have wanted to help him," James said, shrugging. "I didn't think it was important." He looked at Optimus. "Miracle wouldn't intentionally give them an energon drainer. You know that."

Optimus said nothing. It was true; an energon drainer was not Miracle's style.

"Fine," Optimus said. "But enough with all the 'I-made-a-mistake' jargon you've been feeding Major Lennox. We all know that you would never mix up two very different types of machinery."

Miracle leaned forward slightly, placing her elbows on the table.

"That's the only explanation I can give you at the moment, Optimus," she said softly. "You will have to wait a little bit for a better one."

Optimus frowned.

"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked.

Miracle leaned forward a little more and motioned for Optimus to do the same. He complied, mimicking Miracle's position.

"Between you and me," Miracle said, her voice no louder than a whisper, "I've been having some…complications, lately. Things have gone missing, people have been hearing things they shouldn't, and I've had to rush through certain missions." She paused and glared pointedly at Optimus. "_Important_ missions. This is not the first time something like this has happened."

"You have a rat," Optimus clarified. "And your rat is responsible for switching the machines?"

Miracle's eyes narrowed, her lips pressed together in a firm line.

"I honestly have no idea how it happened," she practically growled. "I gave the cloaking device to Alexis myself, and a few minutes after she left it was back in its place and I was missing an energon drainer. The only thing I didn't give her face to face was the holoform activator, and that hasn't been switched with anything as far as I know."

"When did you give Alexis a holoform activator?" Optimus asked.

"I sent one over a few weeks ago. I guess she forgot when she came in, because she kept asking me for one," Miracle said. "Whoever the rat is, they want Alexis."

"Do you want us to intervene?" Optimus asked, already knowing the answer.

"Oh no, I have my own way of dealing with traitors," Miracle said with a wicked grin. "Especially traitors that try to steal information."

"They've been stealing information too?" Optimus asked, slamming his fist down on the metal table. "Primus, Miracle! How long has this been going on?"

Miracle was about to answer, when suddenly the door burst open and Major Lennox came running in with two soldiers behind him.

"Optimus, Alexis is here!" Lennox said, "And there's a man with her who refuses to let her go unless he sees you."

* * *

Optimus was out of his seat in an instant.

"We'll continue this another time, Miracle," Optimus called over his shoulder as he walked through the door.

"Can't wait!" Miracle called back, her voice dripping in sarcasm.

Optimus clicked off his holoform activator, the human image disappearing.

He walked out of the base in his original form, following Major Lennox as he led Optimus towards the front gate.

A man with long, shaggy black hair was clutching a limp Alexis against his chest. Behind them was a silver F-22 fighter jet, the Decepticon insignia barely visible on the left wing.

Optimus stared, taking in the man's pasty skin, the crimson stains on his clothes, and the twisted smirk on his face when he noticed Optimus was watching him.

"Optimus Prime," the man said, his red eyes narrowed and anxious. "It's been a long time."

"Starscream," Optimus said, relief filling his gut. "Thank Primus your safe."

Starscream's holoform flickered, and Alexis nearly hit the ground. She was saved at the last minute when the holoform solidified again, revealing an even more exhausted Starscream.

"Safe, maybe," Starscream grumbled. "But I need energon and Alexis needs medicine, or else we aren't going to be around much longer."

*****

_**A/N: **__YAY! THEY ARE SAFE! __ So, expect longer chapters filled with more characters from now on! I'm not super pleased with this chapter, but at least the story is going places! _

_Thank you to all of those faithful people who reviewed! For the rest of you, REVIEW DARNIT! _

_Hope you enjoyed! Peace out! :)_

_(P.S. Any artists, seriously, send me a PM! We'll talk art stuff, maybe possible illustrations!) _


	7. Chapter 7

**Dealmakers and Old Movies**

Miracle and James walked out of the army base, escorted by five US soldiers with guns strapped to their hips, after their second meeting with Optimus a few days later. A black 1960 Lincoln was waiting for them at the gate. The chauffer, a large, older man with dark shades and a fancy suit, was holding the door open.

"Spasiba, Ivan," Miracle said, offering him a kind smile before entering the car, completely ignoring the soldiers.

"Puzhalsta, Madame Miracle," Ivan said, closing the door after James and returning to the driver's seat.

"Speaking Russian at a United States army base," James said, as they began the long drive back to Miracle's headquarters. "No wonder they don't like us."

"I had no idea you were so concerned with my reputation," Miracle said, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Besides, they didn't like us before they realized how much I love Russia."

James sighed and leaned back in his seat, running a hand through his hair.

"Was that really wise?" James asked. "Telling Optimus all that."

"My dear James, when have I ever made a move that wasn't wise?" Miracle asked, leaning her elbow against the window and resting her head on her hand. "Besides, he won't try to get in the middle of things."

"You were being pretty honest with him," James said. "We do have a rat, and if we don't find out who it is soon your cover might get blown."

Miracle cast him a sideways glance.

"You're being more cautious than usual," she said. "Just what is this about?"

Before James could answer, however, Miracle's cell phone rang. She sighed, pulling it out of the hidden pocket in her skirt and flipping the phone open.

"Hello?" she said, looking away from James and out the window.

"Ms. Miracle, I presume?" said a robotic voice from the other line.

Miracle's eyes narrowed instantly and she tensed in her seat.

"That's correct," Miracle said. "May I ask who I am speaking with?"

"Well now, that wouldn't be very interesting. If you want to trap a rat, Ms. Miracle, you need something to bait it with," the voice said. "And so I have a deal to make with you."

"I'm afraid I don't make deals with vermin," Miracle said, James looked over at her with wide eyes, "Especially cowardly vermin that hide behind technology."

"Interesting words, coming from something like you," the voice said. "If you wish to meet face to face, maybe you should tell your driver to speed it up a bit. I've made myself quite at home in your office."

Miracle felt her jaw drop and her insides turned cold.

"See you soon, Miracle," said the voice, followed by a soft click as the person hung up.

Miracle didn't move for a second, registering the situation she was in, and then flipped her phone shut.

"Ivan," Miracle said, "Get us to the base, now!"

"Yes, Madame Miracle," Ivan said.

The car sped up immediately, but Miracle didn't relax. Instead, she gripped her phone tightly in her fist.

"Miracle, watch it!" James said, grabbing her shoulder. "You're going to—!"

Before he could finish, the phone Miracle was holding suddenly exploded in a flash of blue sparks.

"I'm going to kill him," Miracle said, looking over at James with shockingly bright eyes. "We can't afford to have him alive."

James let go of her shoulder and nodded.

"Understood, Miracle," he said.

* * *

"I swear, you humans are incredibly hypocritical," Starscream said, staring at the large TV screen now playing 'Arsenic and Old Lace'. "You say that you hate war and violence, and yet most of your movies portray it as being humorous."

"Well, you know what they say," Alexis said. "Sad is stubbing your toe walking up the stairs, funny is falling down the stairs and dying."

Starscream's jaw dropped and his red eyes widened. Alexis laughed and leaned against his holoform, being wary of her bandaged arm, while the movie played on.

"You people confuse me more than any other species I've come across," Starscream muttered.

Alexis just smiled and Starscream pulled her closer against him, just as he did during every movie. The two of them had spent the last three days of recovery getting Starscream up to date on how life on Earth worked. They had watched movie after movie, everything from Twelve Angry Men to Slumdog Millionaire. They had tried watching the official "Autobot Assimilation" films, but Starscream grew bored quickly and didn't pay attention to any of the lessons.

Alexis looked up at Starscream under her lashes. His holoform still bore a striking resemblance to his robotic body, a glitch Alexis was grateful for. His eyes, rather than the standard blue color all the Autobots shared, were red, and his features were sharper than normal. His skin was pale and his dark hair, which was thick and unruly, didn't help make him look any warmer. Still, he was incredibly attractive and blended in quite well with the aid of sunglasses.

Starscream looked over at her and Alexis looked away immediately, her face burning slightly.

"I'm still me, you know," Starscream said, reminding her for the umpteenth time.

"I know," Alexis said, reaching up and rubbing her necklace with her good arm. She had somehow managed not to lose it in the crash. "It's just different, that's all."

"I thought, seeing as how you're surrounded by these things all the time," Starscream waved his free hand in front of his holoform, "You'd be used to it."

"It's not that, it's interesting seeing you like this," Alexis admitted, rubbing her necklace faster and feeling the slight burn in her face spread to her ears. "It's nice, being able to act normally with you."

Starscream was quiet for a moment, the only sound in the room coming from the movie.

"You'll never really be able to act normal with me," he said finally. "You know that, don't you?"

Alexis stopped rubbing her necklace and just stared at him for a second.

"Of course," she said, "But my life hasn't been normal since I ran after Carlos and Rad all those years ago."

Starscream's eyes narrowed slightly.

"Rad," he said slowly, searching for a face to go with the name. His memory would never be completely repaired, according to Ratchet, but some of it most of it could be salvaged over time with the right catalysts. Starscream's eyes lit up and widened with sudden realization. "You mean that scrawny blonde boy that fawned over you all the time?"

Alexis sighed.

"He liked me in junior high, things have changed since then," she said. "Strange that you picked up on that even though you claimed you wanted nothing to do with us humans."

"I wanted nothing to do with most of the humans," Starscream said. "You all were the exceptions. Back then, you were my only reason for caring about what happened to this planet."

"And what about now?" Alexis asked. "Do you feel the same way?"

The moment the words left her lips, Alexis felt her blood turn cold. She felt Starscream tense and his grip on her shoulder lessened. Once again, there was nothing but the movie to fill the silence between the two of them for a few long seconds.

"Uh, you don't have to answer that," Alexis said, her words tripping over themselves. "I wasn't thinking and it just kind of slipped out, I know you care about me because you're my Guardian and came back to Earth and all so—."

Starscream placed a finger against her lips, cutting her monologue short.

"Alexis," he said softly, "Of course I feel the same way, I just didn't know it until a few days ago. Don't tell me you're insecure now."

Alexis smiled against his finger and let out a short breath. He pulled his hand back but leaned forward, letting his forehead fall against hers.

"And what about me?" he asked. "Have your feelings changed?"

Despite the closeness, Alexis couldn't feel any breath on her face. His forehead felt cool against her skin, and looking up into bright, red eyes was unnerving. So why was her heart pounding against her chest? His hair was soft and tickled her cheeks, causing heat to climb up her neck and all the way to her ears.

"I-I, that is, nothing's changed," she stuttered, her ears were definitely scarlet by now, "I still—."

The phone ringing saved her from continuing. Starscream hesitated, willing her to finish, but Alexis made no move to do so. He sighed, pulled away from Alexis, and answered the phone lying on the coffee table.

"Starscream speaking," he said.

Alexis took a few minutes to steady her breathing and get her skin back to its normal color. She didn't notice Starscream tighten his grip on the phone and his wide eyes, but she did hear the controlled panic in his voice when he spoke.

"Understood," he said. "We leave immediately."

He hung up and turned to Alexis.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

Starscream suddenly pulled her to her feet and picked her up in his arms. He ran, carrying her bridal style, out of the living room and out of her apartment. With each step, her bandaged arm would hit his chest and she bit back her cries of pain.

"It's Miracle," Starscream said, after he had gotten to the stairwell, "She was contacted by the rat. She knows what he wants."

"What does he want?" Alexis asked, her gut twisting uncomfortably.

"You," Starscream said.

_**A/N: **__Dun dun duuuunnn! Tada! FINALLY! AN UPLOAD! Sorry it took so long. Junior year of high school is a KILLER! Anyway, I'm still not happy with this chapter but I thought I owed you guys something since you kept reviewing! You are the best! I'll try and have less sporadic updates and chapters that are less cheesy! _

_REMEMBER TO __**REVIEW**__! I NEED INSPIRATION TO WRITE! _


	8. Chapter 8

**Not-So-Ancient History**

_3 Years Ago:_

_Miracle was angry._

_Actually, Miracle was livid. She traced the slick blade of her favorite dagger, a silver and ruby-encrusted beauty she had found in Italy, with nimble, graceful fingers. She sat calmly in a chic, black office chair behind a metal desk. Her outfit at the moment was an outfit she had found in India, an elegant, flowy, floor-length sari made of golden silk._

_Her expression, however, was anything but graceful, calm, or elegant. Her blue eyes bore into the woman sitting across from her. Miracle looked at the woman's messy red hair, smeared pink lipstick, and tacky ten-dollar pantsuit with distaste. This woman, whoever she was, did not appear to be the master hacker that had been giving Miracle so much trouble._

_"So," Miracle said, pursing her wine-colored lips and continuing to stroke the small blade. "Just what is it that you want?"_

_The woman took a crumpled piece of paper out of her pocket. She smoothed it out on her knee before reading aloud in a slow voice._

_"As you've no doubt realized, I have infiltrated your innermost systems and business transactions. At the present time—"_

_"Get to the point," Miracle interrupted. "What is it that your boss wants from me? Money? Weapons? Information classified above 'top secret?'"_

_The woman paused, crumpled up the note, and put it back in her pocket._

_"My employer only wants the woman that acts as the spokesperson between the humans and aliens."_

_Miracle froze, her fingers glued to the dagger, and stared at the woman._

_"Alexis?" Miracle asked, and the woman nodded. "What if I refused?"_

_The woman reached into her other pocket and pulled out another crumpled piece of paper. This time, instead of smoothing it out, she threw the wad at Miracle's face. Miracle caught it in her fist and raised one eyebrow at the woman._

_"It won't explode," the woman said. "It's just something my employer would like you to keep in mind."_

_Miracle smoothed the paper out on her desk, and felt her jaw drop at the contents. She looked up, slowly, at the woman._

_The woman's lips curled away from her teeth in what was supposed to be a smile, but only made Miracle feel disturbed. The woman's eyes shown with unbridled malice, her teeth were yellowed and stained with lipstick, and suddenly Miracle got a sense that the next few years were going to be incredibly challenging._

_"We'll be in touch," the woman said, and then walked out of Miracle's office._

* * *

_A Few Hours Earlier:_

"How nice of you to actually show your face," Miracle said, arms crossed over her chest. "I was getting tired of talking through all your middle men. What happened, someone squealed?"

The man sitting across from her chuckled lightly, but his eyes hardened and twitched slightly.

"That's my business," he said. "I am here to try and persuade you to change your mind about Alexis."

"Why, exactly, is she so important to you?" Miracle asked, toying with a piece of her silvery blonde hair. "She doesn't have much power in political decisions. She's basically a puppet for the Autobots to use."

"On the contrary," the man said. "She's incredibly powerful, now that that seeker is back."

Miracle stared at him, one eyebrow raised. The man continued.

"I knew that once she started to become popular, he would come back," he said. "Seekers are particularly hard to get rid of, especially if they get—attached."

"How do you know all this?" Miracle asked. "Not even I could have predicted that, and I'm your main source of information."

"I do have other sources," he said, but then stopped.

Miracle smiled. The man averted his eyes and stared at the floor, a sign of submission. This was the real reason he had never met with her face to face before. He was weak.

"So here is what I think," Miracle said, leaning back in her chair. "I think I'm not going to tell you anything about Alexis, or Starscream, and have my partner shoot you."

The man looked up at her, his mouth agape.

"I thought you were classier than that," he said. "You don't even know who I am."

Miracle laughed.

"My dear man, you underestimate me," she said. "I had my analysts work on finding your identity the second you stepped inside my office. As for being classy, I didn't say my partner would kill you. I just said he'd shoot."

The man looked up at her, and suddenly he changed. Miracle watched as his shaky, weak demeanor transformed into a much stronger and solid atmosphere. Her eyes widened as he leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees and resting his head in his hands.

"But you haven't been able to find anything," the man said, smiling for the first time. "Have you?"

Miracle leaned forward as well, placing her elbows on the desk and lacing her fingers together. She let her head fall forward and rested it on top of the back of her hands.

"No," she admitted. "My analysts have searched every database known to man, and they have found nothing on you. I have no idea who you are, I only know you have some fascination with Alexis and that you are good with computers."

"I, however, know a great deal about you," the man said. "I know what you really are."

Miracle's eyes narrowed and she nodded. She could feel James tense from behind her.

"Yes, your first mediator made that clear," she said. "What, exactly, do you plan to do with that information?"

The man laughed and ran a hand through his dark hair.

"I would have thought that was obvious," he said. "I am going to blackmail you to get to Alexis."

Miracle was reaching for her favorite dagger when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked away from the man and up at James, who was staring down at her tight lipped. Miracle sighed and leaned back in her chair, away from the dagger.

"Very well," she said. "I will give you Alexis."

* * *

_Present:_

"I don't understand," Alexis said for the ump-teenth time. "Why does he want me? Does he know I have absolutely zero power in anything the government decides to do? I'm a spokesperson. This is like shooting the messenger."

"No one said he was going to shoot you," Miracle said. "He just wants you."

Alexis glared at Miracle. From the corner of the room, Starscream let a low growl escape his throat. The three of them, plus James, were inside a safe house that had been set up for Alexis a few hours before. Optimus, Ironhide, and Ratchet were on their way. A few guards were posted around the perimeter, checking in with a guard stationed inside every ten minutes.

"Miracle, I don't think saying things like that will help," James said, and then looked up at Alexis. "I understand you're confused, but we really didn't have a choice. That man has too much information already, we can't give him a chance to use it."

"He already has," Alexis said, gesturing to Starscream. "He knew that Star would come back for me. Not even I thought that was possible."

"Don't call me that," Starscream said.

Alexis ignored him, instead beginning to pace around the room. The sound of the front door opening made her freeze. Starscream was beside her in an instant, his arm around her waist.

"Alexis?"

Instantly, Alexis relaxed. She smiled and ran towards the two men that just entered the house.

"Rad, Carlos," she greeted, throwing her arms around both of them. "What are you guys doing here?"

Rad and Carlos laughed and returned the slightly awkward hug.

"We heard you were in some trouble and got worried," Carlos said. "Rad here nearly had a heart attack when he found out."

Alexis stepped away from the now-blushing Rad and the chuckling Carlos. She looked back at Starscream and motioned for him to come forward. He did so, a bit grudgingly.

"Guys, you remember Starscream, right?" Alexis asked, latching on to Starscream's arm and pulling him closer to the boys.

Rad and Carlos looked from Alexis to the grimacing man beside her. They took in the pasty skin, red eyes, and messy dark hair with matching looks of disbelief.

"It's been a while," Starscream said, smirking as both boys jumped at the sound of his voice. "Last time I saw you two, you were both shorter than Alexis."

"Definitely Starscream," Carlos said with a nod. "Only he could be that much of an ass after being reunited with his best friends."

Starscream snorted and rolled his eyes. "I hope you're not referring to yourself."

Carlos smiled. "Who else would be able to put up with you?"

Carlos extended a hand and Starscream took it, a smile gracing his normally stern face. Rad was making a strange expression, but Starscream pretended not to notice.

"Good to have you back," Rad said, but he did not offer his hand.

Starscream nodded, then turned to Alexis and said, "We really should start thinking about how we're going to handle this situation."

Alexis frowned and turned to face James and Miracle.

"How did you leave it with the man?" Alexis asked.

"I'm to deliver you to him at some given time, he'll tell me when, and tell no one of our meeting," Miracle said. "Guess I already screwed that up."

Alexis walked over to the couch and sat down, deep in thought. She began tugging on the loose threads of a nearby pillow. No one else knew what to do, so they watched her. Suddenly, Alexis's eyes lit up and she turned to face Miracle.

"You said that your analysts couldn't find a single thing on this guy, right?" Alexis asked. "They searched through every single data base available?"

Miracle nodded. "They ran his picture against millions upon millions of information centers, and we got nothing."

"Were you only checking Earth sources?" Alexis asked.

Miracle froze, her icy blue eyes growing wide. "You don't think—."

"That's exactly what I think," Alexis said.

Miracle sat down next to Alexis, her eyes still wide and her mouth slightly open.

"Of course," Miracle muttered. "It makes sense now."

"Excuse me," Carlos said, waving from across the room. "Mind filling the rest of us in?"

Alexis smiled.

"The man who came and spoke with Miracle wasn't a man at all," Alexis said. "I believe he was a Decepticon."

Miracle nodded and stood up again, walking over to James. She held out her hand and James pulled a new, sleek cell phone out of his jacket pocket. Immediately, Miracle was typing like a mad woman.

"It all makes sense now," she repeated. "I couldn't find him because he doesn't exists on Earth. Alexis, you're a genius"

"Still doesn't explain why he wants me," Alexis said.

Starscream was silent. A sickening feeling was starting to well up inside him, slowly climbing from his gut to his throat. He had a blurry memory of a con he used to know who would do things like this: spend ages researching, planning, and coordinating his attack, and then strike where he knew the target would hurt the most. Starscream couldn't remember what would cause this bot to target him, but he could feel a memory teasing the back of his brain. Something had gone wrong; something should have been fixed, but what?

"Star," Alexis said, placing her hand over his clenched fist, "you okay?"

Starscream nodded, not bothering to correct her on the nickname. He had a feeling he was just going to have to get used to it.

**A/N: Oh my god, how long has it been! At least over a year. Anyway, I'm sorry for the long wait. Junior year of high school was intense, and now I'm dealing with college apps and all that. Anyway, please review this story.**

**The more reviews I get, the more motivated I am to write. Notice the number of reviews for the last chapter and how long it took for me to come out with this one. **

**Hope you enjoyed! Review! **


	9. Chapter 9

**Destructive Dedication**

"You scared?"

Starscream turned and stared at the source of the voice. Miracle was leaning against the hanger doorway, where he was currently trying to stretch his legs. He knew he wasn't supposed to be in his old body yet, but he had needed a break. Being cooped up in his holoform made him antsy and stiff, and he could feel some of the stress start to ebb away with every movement he made in his real form.

"Don't be ridiculous," Starscream said with a light scoff. "What do I have to fear?"

Miracle smiled and shrugged, stepping away from the wall and walking towards him.

"Oh, I don't know," she said, her voice light. "It's just interesting, isn't it? You turn up again, and all of a sudden there's this strange Decepticon desperate to get his hands on the one thing you care about."

Starscream narrowed his optics and looked around. The two of them were alone.

"Your pet waiting just outside?" Starscream asked, his lips twisting into a sneer. "Hoping to wiggle some personal information out of me and have him act as your witness?"

Miracle's gaze hardened and she pursed her lips.

"James is no more my pet than Alexis is yours," she said. "And no, I know you can't remember anything. If you did, you would have told Alexis. That girl has you wrapped so tightly around her finger I'm surprised your spine hasn't snapped."

He didn't answer and it was Miracle's turn to sneer. Starscream turned away from her. His bad feeling about this human had started the second Alexis told him what she did for a living. There was something off about Miracle, something he did not want to be involved in. He was only a few feet away when she spoke.

"Then again," she called, and he could hear the twisted grin in her voice. "Maybe it already has."

Starscream turned around and dropped to her eye-level in less than a second, causing the whole hanger to shake. The hanger was dark, and the light from his optics cast a red glow on Miracle's pale skin. She didn't even flinch.

"Say that again," he hissed, staring straight into Miracle's icy blue eyes, "and I promise you those will be your very last words. I may be an Autobot now, but many of my Decepticon protocols are still deeply imbedded into my innermost systems. One more comment like that, and not even James will be able to keep you from me."

"Well, I don't doubt that James will be useless against you," Miracle agreed, raising one eyebrow. "But if Alexis was to see you do something like that, I'm sure she'd be very upset."

Starscream was silent, but he stayed where he was. Miracle let out a short laugh.

"Oh, come on now, Star," she toyed, crossing her arms over her chest. "If you hadn't found Alexis, you would have crushed me by now. That girl is taming you, and if I didn't know any better, I'd think you kind of like it."

Starscream blanched. Taming him? He leaned back, away from Miracle, and observed her from a distance as he calmed down. She had a lot of gal to come out here alone and pick a fight with him. She wouldn't do it unless there was a reason. Starscream's eyes narrowed and he let out a low sigh, determined not to let her get to him.

"It's an interesting concept," he said finally. "I suppose in some ways, you're right. If being tamed by Alexis means forgetting the horrible wrongs I've committed, then I'll surrender to her gladly. I suppose that's why you have James around, isn't it? We all need someone to keep us 'human.'"

It was Miracle's turn to blank. She stared up at him, her mouth slightly open, and he smirked.

"No need to act surprised, I picked up on what you were the moment I laid optics on you," he said, his voice quiet. "I never thought I would survive long enough to see something like you, though. And don't worry, I haven't told anyone else."

Miracle closed her mouth and remained silent. She dropped her gaze and looked out towards the hanger door.

"Alexis will be coming in shortly," she said finally, turning and starting to walk out of the hanger. "I suggest you get back in your holoform. You really shouldn't be in that body yet."

And with that, she slipped out the doorway and disappeared. Starscream sat a few more moments in his real body, enjoying the feel of the extra space and his weapon system, before he heard Alexis's footsteps outside. He turned on his holoform, and when he had completely transferred to the smaller body he turned and looked up at his real one. He had to admit, it was rather terrifying. He couldn't help but smile.

"You miss it, don't you?"

He turned to see Alexis standing in the doorway. Her hair was a bit messy and she was wearing an old t-shirt, sweats, and a jacket that was way too big for her. She had abandoned her arm brace at some point in the day, but the way she was cradling her damaged arm against her chest let him know it was still sore. He smiled at the sight of her.

"Trouble sleeping?" he guessed, and she nodded, walking towards him.

"I woke up because I thought I sensed something from you," she said, rubbing her eyes and yawning. "Something stressful."

When she was close enough to him, he pulled her into his chest—being careful of her injured arm—and tucked her head under his chin. After they had consummated the bond—and after their accident—the two of them had decided that sleeping separately was useless. Starscream always worried that something might sneak in and hurt Alexis, and Alexis had nightmares about Starscream disappearing.

"Sorry I woke you," he said, his voice soft.

"S'ok," she muttered, wrapping her good arm around his waist. "You alright?"

"Yeah, just feeling a little claustrophobic in this form," he admitted, rubbing her back. "Why don't you go back to sleep? I'll be there in a bit."

She shook her head and he rolled his eyes with a snort.

"Always so stubborn," he huffed, and he could feel her smile against his shoulder.

They stood like that for a while. The day had been a mess of planning, researching, and meetings. It felt like the two of them rarely had a chance to talk to each other. Optimus had demanded to hear Alexis's reasoning multiple times before assigning a few bots to stake out Miracle's place. He also sent in a team of scientists to check and see if they could find any strange readings in Miracle's office. Starscream was sure they would find plenty of readings in that place.

The safe house was located near Sequoia National Forest, in a secluded woodsy area. The two of them looked up, past Starscream's mending body, at the skylight in the hanger's ceiling. On a clear night like tonight they could see the Milky Way sprawled out across the dark sky. Planets and stars shone and twinkled pleasantly down at them.

"The stars here are just as bright as they are back home, maybe even brighter," Alexis said, breaking the still silence, and then paused. "Which one is Cybertron?"

Starscream strained his optics, but in this form and from this distance it was impossible to see his home planet.

"Can't tell," he said. "I'll show you when my body's all healed and we can get higher up."

"Alright," she said, and then yawned again. "Ok, I'm exhausted. I'm going back to bed. Promise me you'll be there soon?"

Starscream smiled and kissed the top of her head. He was sure if she had been more awake, the action would have made her blush. Now all she did was smile.

"I promise," he assured her.

"G'night," she said, slipping out of his grasp as slowly as she could.

"Good night, Alexis," he said, and he gave her good hand a final squeeze before letting her go.

She smiled and stumbled out of the hanger. Starscream watched her go before turning back to his own body.

Maybe Alexis was taming him, but if taming him meant he could make new memories to replace the ones he had lost, he would take it. So far he had felt more comfortable with Alexis than he had with any other being. Even his old Seekers had never made him feel this safe, and he had relied on them to cover him in battle.

He sighed and took one last look at his old body before turning and walking out of the hanger. He was just outside when he felt it.

His spark pulsed wildly in his chest, making him double over and almost fall to the ground. Every fiber in his being screamed at him to get help, to run far away, back to where it was safe. He froze. What in Primus's name could have caused—oh, no.

"Alexis," he whispered, and then he took off running.

She would have made it back to the safe house by now. There was a short trail from the back of the house to the hanger and it was heavily guarded. He could see bits and pieces of things and feelings in his mind as he got closer.

_A shadowy figure was right above him. There was a searing pain in his arm and on his cheek._ He ran past the guards, past a stunned Optimus. _Fear, confusion, why are you doing this to me?_

_Help me._

"Alexis," he yelled, throwing open the door of the safe house, "what is—."

The sight made his insides turn to ice.

Alexis was on the ground, her legs tangled beneath her, clutching her injured arm. She tore her eyes away from the figure standing above her to look at Starscream. His eyes were fixated on her face.

He could see the bruise on her cheek starting to form from where he was standing. His mind went blank as something inside of him snapped. Alexis barely had time to say his name before he was in front of her and had slammed the figure into the ground.

He was seeing red as he stared down at the figure. He barely heard Alexis say his name or feel her grab his arm. The only thing he cared about was destroying the threat that had dared to harm his ward.

And that threat was Rad.

_**A/N: **__Dun, dun, duuuunnnnnnn! Hey guys! So it's been a very, very long time…but I'm going to start trying this revolutionary concept called "outlining" and hopefully I'll be able to finish this story soon!_

_I've been watching a lot of Doctor Who and Sherlock recently, so if I start getting philosophical or really, really sad…somebody tell me! I'd like to thank you guys for sticking with my through all my stupid hiatus's, and for my new readers I promise Imma get my shizz together. I promise you, things are going to heat up in this story._

_As always, __**REVIEW! I WRITE FASTER WHEN I GET REVIEWS!**__What can I say? I'm needy. Hope you guys enjoyed!_


	10. Chapter 10

**Kisses and Traitors**

_"I think you liked him."_

_ Alexis turned at the voice, her cheeks burning. She hated it when Rad started off their conversations like this. She was on the rock Starscream always used to sit on when he was at the old Autobot base. _

_ "What's it matter to you if I liked him?" she demanded, fiddling with her necklace. "It's not like I'm your girlfriend or anything."_

_ "Do I detect a bit of wistfulness in that last comment?" Rad asked, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. "You know, if you want to date me all you have to do is ask."_

_ He waggled his eyebrows at her and Alexis couldn't help but laugh. She was glad he had come looking for her. She leaned against him and smiled._

_ "You always know where to find me," she sighed, and she felt him nod._

_ A still silence fell over the two of them. The stars were bright and a gentle breeze kept the canyon nice and cool. _

_ "It's ok to be honest," he said, breaking the silence. "I'm pretty sure he felt the same way."_

_ Alexis pulled away from him and stared._

_ "Why do you want to talk about this?" she asked, her voice cool. _

_ "Because every year you do the same thing," he said. "On the anniversary of his death, you get really quiet and spend all night out here. It's not healthy."_

_ Alexis turned away from him._

_ "You should get going," she said. "And tell Carlos he doesn't have to come and see me tonight, I know he'd rather spend time with Andrea." _

_ "We need to talk about this, Alexis," Rad said, his voice calm, but his eyes narrowed._

_ "You and I don't need to talk about anything," Alexis said, still facing away from him. "I believe my feelings for Starscream are my own business, but if he feels like coming back from the grave to talk about them with me, then I'll tell him everything. So please, just go."_

_ Rad didn't move for a minute, but then he got up, squeezed Alexis's shoulder, and walked away from the canyon. Alexis waited until she couldn't hear his footsteps any longer, then she pulled her knees into her chest, and cried._

* * *

Alexis watched, frozen, as Starscream approached Rad. She wasn't sure how it had happened. One moment, she was walking back to her room, thinking about how nice and comfy her bed was, and the next, she was on the ground.

She reached up and gingerly traced her fingers over the bruise forming on her cheek. Rad had come out of nowhere. She didn't even know it was him until he had grabbed her arm and pulled her close. It was almost as if he had wanted her to see him.

She shuddered, remembering the sting as his hand whipped across her face. He had thrown her down and she had landed on her still-healing arm, sending searing pain from her wrist all the way up to her shoulder.

And then Starscream had come in.

The look on his face when he saw Rad above her was terrifying. His red eyes were glowing in the dark room, making him look more like a demon and less like her loving guardian. She knew what he was planning on doing the second he saw the bruise on her face.

"Starscream," she had tried, but he couldn't hear her.

And now he was staring down at Rad. His back was to Alexis, but she could imagine the expression on his face.

"You hurt Alexis," he said, finally, his voice so cold even Alexis cringed. "Big mistake."

"Starscream, no," Alexis said, reaching out and grabbing his arm. "Please, just wait."

Starscream didn't even acknowledge her. He stepped forward and Rad scrambled back. Just then the door burst open again, revealing a group of soldiers and Optimus.

"Starscream, stand down," Optimus commanded, and Alexis could see a soldier call for backup.

"He hurt Alexis," Starscream practically snarled, taking another step towards Rad. "I'm going to rip him apart."

"You don't know why," Optimus said. "That may not be the Rad we know."

Starscream paused, but he didn't relax. Ironhide and Ratchet, closely followed by James and Miracle, came in from the front door, blocking any exit Rad could have used. The Autobots were still in their holoforms, but every soldier, and Miracle and James, were armed. Alexis tightened her grip on Starscream's arm.

"Starscream, please," she begged, wincing when she moved forward and put too much weight on her ankle.

Great, so that was yet another injury she could add to the list.

"Please," Rad said, his voice breathless. "Honestly, I don't know what I was doing. One minute I was in bed, the next I'm here."

"You expect me to believe that?" Starscream hissed, raising the arm Alexis wasn't latched onto. "No one harms my ward and gets away scot-free."

Alexis shot forward. Using Starscream's arm as leverage, she pulled herself up and spun around so she was in front of him. She had no idea how to calm him down, but whenever Ironhide got too upset she had seen Chromia settle him by putting her forehead against his.

It was worth a try.

Alexis grabbed hold of his t-shirt and pulled, causing Starscream to lower his head just enough. She caught a glance of his eyes widening before she slammed her forehead against his. His head was anything but soft, and her eyes watered as her head began to ache. She blinked back the tears and looked up at him from beneath her lashes.

He was staring at her with wide eyes, and it seemed he had forgotten all about Rad. A sudden stillness fell over the room, but she was too intent on calming Starscream down to notice.

"Starscream," she said, her voice soft but firm. "Calm down."

He didn't look calm, exactly, but he was no longer giving Rad a death glare. She pressed her forehead against his a little more firmly. Starscream seemed to twitch at the gesture, and his arms were awkwardly hovering around her sides, like he wasn't sure if he wanted to push her away or pull her closer.

"Oh my Primus. _Alexis?_"

Alexis turned at the new voice to see Hot Shot standing between Ratchet and Ironhide. They all had matching expressions of complete and utter shock on their faces.

"It's ok, Hot Shot, I'm fine," she said. "I know the bruise looks bad, but it's really—."

"That's not what he's referring to," Starscream said, his voice deathly quiet.

Alexis looked back at him, their foreheads still together. She loosened her grip on his shirt because her hurt arm was screaming at her to let go.

"Well then what—?"

"You guys are kissing," Hot Shot said, his shock melting into a look of pure glee. "Oh, this is so great. Who knew that the fearsome Starscream could be brought down with a little smooch?"

"Shut up," Starscream tried, but Hot Shot just laughed harder.

Alexis blanked. Starscream backed away from her, pulling their foreheads apart, but snaked an arm around her waist to keep her weight off her ankle.

"What do you mean we were kissing?" Alexis asked. "I was calming him down. I've seen Chromia do it to Ironhide loads of times when—oh."

At that, Ironhide coughed and found something very interesting to look at on his foot. Hot Shot was laughing so hard he was on the floor. Alexis felt heat rise from the back of her neck all the way to the tips of her ears. There was no way. Had she really just kissed Starscream without knowing it?

She looked up at him and her stomach hit the floor. Starscream, the fierce, warrior Starscream who a moment ago had Rad begging for his life, was blushing. She didn't even know holoforms could blush. His normally pale face was flushed, and he refused to meet Alexis's gaze.

"Wait a second," Alexis realized. "That means you—back at the apartment—."

Her wide eyes narrowed when she realized that this was not the first time they had done this. When she was still recovering in the hospital he had brushed his forehead against hers. She had thought it was an accident, but he did it again when they were alone in the apartment. They had been light, short touches, but touches nonetheless.

Starscream cleared his throat and looked past Alexis, down at Rad.

"Well, I think we should focus on what Rad was doing attacking Alexis," he said, his voice a little too loud.

"You are not worming your way out of this," Alexis hissed, poking his chest.

"Can we please talk about this later?" Starscream asked. "Without an audience?"

"Disgusting."

Alexis stiffened and turned around. Rad was looking at her and Starscream with narrowed eyes. Narrowed, _red_ eyes.

Starscream backed up, tightening his grip around Alexis's waist. She could feel the muscles in his arms tense as he leaned into her, trying to shield her from Rad. Rad just laughed a cold, humorless laugh.

"Really, Seeker, do you think that's enough to stop me?" he hissed, standing up. "If I wanted to I could rip the flesh right off her body."

At once, every soldier in the room pointed some sort of weapon at him. Rad was unfazed, his gaze fixed on Starscream and Alexis.

"What do you want?" Starscream growled, his eyes flashing.

"I must say, this _Rad_ character has a lot of interesting memories of you two," Rad said, then his gaze shifted to Alexis. "And a lot of interesting memories about you."

Alexis fought the urge to shrink into Starscream's grip and hide.

"What have you done with him?" she asked.

"How many years did you go back to that rock and cry over your lost soldier?" he asked, grinning wickedly. "The pain you must have felt knowing that you had made it home safely because he was dead, why, it must have been horrible. And poor Rad, he tried to help you. He was always right there when you needed him, but it was never enough for you, was it?"

Alexis's eyes were wide. The fake Rad took a small step forward, and a chorus of weapons cocking and revving were heard around the room.

"You are out numbered," Optimus said. "Stand down."

The fake Rad didn't look away from Alexis, but raised his hands in surrender. All at once, Rad's fingers seemed to explode into long, metal ropes.

Alexis barely had time to scream before they had wrapped around her arms and legs and pulled her away from Starscream.

"No," Starscream cried, reaching for her.

Three of the fingers let go of Alexis and wrapped around Starscream's waist and wrists, keeping him at bay.

"I just can't figure it out," the fake Rad said, observing Alexis as she struggled against her bonds. "What about this girl is so special, Screamer? She's just a pathetic, human femme. I mean, look at what she's done to you. Guardianship? I don't think you even really understand what that means."

Starscream let a low growl rip through his throat, too angry to form words. The fake Rad smiled and tightened his hold on Alexis's hurt arm. Her eyes watered and she couldn't help crying out as her whole arm burned.

But someone else was crying out too. Alexis looked over and saw Starscream clutching his arm, the same arm that was hurt on her own body.

"Her pain is your pain," Rad clarified, and Alexis's eyes widened. "Quite a burden to take on, isn't it? The closer you are to her, the more real it feels. You felt her fear when I attacked her, felt the sting when I hit her, and you can only imagine how painful it will be for you when I kill her."

The metal ropes holding Alex retracted as quickly as they had come, and instead snaked around her throat. The fake Rad didn't look away from Starscream as they slowly began to tighten. Alexis was gasping for air, her hands desperately trying to pull the ropes away from her neck. Tears spilled over the corner of her eyes and ran down her face.

Alexis hoped Starscream couldn't feel the cold, tight panic gripping her heart, or the pinch as the ropes continued to tighten. But one look at him made it obvious he could.

"It's horrible, isn't it?" the fake Rad asked, his smile gone. "And this is just a guardianship. Imagine how it would feel if you two had bonded."

His gaze intensified and he stared pointedly at Starscream.

"Can you imagine how painful it must be to lose your sparkmate?" he continued, his voice getting softer. "To lose the one thing you love in the universe, and be condemned to continue living on? It's horrible. Every day is pointless without them, every battle you fight you pray to loose, and staying online is nothing but a curse. Can you even comprehend such an existence?"

Alexis could feel her heart begin to slow as she started to loose her peripheral vision. It wouldn't be long now until she lost consciousness. She was loosing energy fast, and fighting against the ropes was getting harder and harder.

Then, suddenly, the ropes around her neck were gone and she was flung against the wall. She fell in a limp heap on the floor, her body shaking as she took deep, shuddery breaths.

"Very soon, Screamer, you will."

Alexis looked up at the fake Rad, her entire body aching and feeling too heavy to move. The fake Rad looked down at her, and one of his metal fingers brushed against the bruise on her cheek. She cringed at the touch.

"An eye for an eye, as they say on Earth," the fake Rad continued, and smiled at Alexis. "I can't wait to see the look on your face when I rip her away from you."

He looked back over at Starscream, and Alexis turned her head just enough so she could see him too. The sight made her heart rise to her throat and her stomach drop to her feet.

Starscream was on the ground, struggling to catch his breath. His eyes were wide and fixated on her face. His body was trembling, but out of pain or rage she couldn't exactly tell.

"Until next time," the fake Rad said, and then all of his metal fingers shot straight up and through the ceiling.

Alexis heard the sound of gunshots, but she knew the fake Rad would get away. She could feel the heat from his blasters as he took to the skies, and all at once the soldiers ran out. The Autobot's holoforms disappeared and the building shook just enough to let her know that they were back in their original forms.

"Alexis."

She looked up at Starscream, who was now kneeling above her. He looked just as shaken up as she felt. She was too tired and too weak to stop herself from dissolving into tears.

"Sorry," she choked out, trying to hide her face with her hands.

Starscream didn't say anything. Instead, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her close. She buried her face in his chest.

"Sorry," she said again, her voice was raspy and thick with tears. "Didn't know."

"You're fine," Starscream said. "I've got you, Alexis. You're going to be fine."

But even without the strong bond the two of them shared, Alexis could have detected the uncertainty in his tone.

_**A/N: **__Hey! So, I've realized I don't really like how wimpy I've made Alexis look. I'm going to change that in the next chapter (which I've already started). Sorry for the long time in between the updates, but I leave for college on Saturday (OMG!) and I've been trying to get ready. Hope you guys enjoyed!_

_Please review! Seriously, please review. I like reviews a lot. _


	11. Chapter 11

**Guilt and Pleasure**

Starscream was sure that Alexis thought everything was her fault. He could see it every time she looked at the patched-up ceiling, or absent-mindedly ran her fingers over the bruises on her cheek and neck, or when she flinched at the mention of Rad's name. But worst of all, he could feel the guilt reaching exponential levels whenever she snuck glances at him.

She had taken to sitting by herself at the very edge of the property, mostly just staring out into space. Starscream had tried to dissuade her from going on multiple occasions, but nothing worked. Finally, he just decided to follow her there and watch her from a distance. He suspected she knew he was there, but she never said anything.

He was getting ready to follow her again, when Carlos stopped him.

"Just following her doesn't help, man," he said. "You need to talk to her."

Starscream looked over at him. It was a lot easier to follow her in his holoform, even though he was allowed back in his original body.

"Alexis is my business, Carlos," he said. "Not yours."

"That's bullshit," Carlos said. "I've known Alexis longer than you have, and I was there for her when you weren't. I'm telling you, if you really want her better, you have to talk to her."

Starscream's lips curled up into a nasty snarl and his eyes narrowed.

"I wasn't there for her because I died trying to protect her planet," he growled.

Carlos sighed and shook his head.

"I know, I know," he said. "But that doesn't change the fact that you weren't there. Look, if you want her to get better, you're going to have to talk to her. That's all there is to it."

With that, Carlos turned and walked away. Starscream watched him go, half angry and half ashamed. He hated to admit it, but Carolos did have a point.

He started off after Alexis, and this time kept on walking until he was right behind her. Alexis didn't say anything for a few minutes, just continued to walk.

"So," she finally said, "Carlos told you to talk to me, did he?"

"Yeah," Starscream admitted, and grudgingly added, "He knows you pretty well."

"Don't worry, you'll get the hang of me soon enough," Alexis said, and then turned to look at him. "It's stronger now."

Starscream nodded. The bond between them had indeed strengthened. All he had to do to know how Alexis was feeling was make eye contact with her or stand within a few feet of her.

Alexis was silent, then turned and continued to walk.

"I know you feel guilty," Starscream said. "I'm just not sure why."

Alexis turned to him and he stopped walking. They were in a clearing now, and Alexis's usual spot was just ahead. Judging by the look on Alexis's face however, Starscream seriously doubted their conversation would make it that far.

"Because you came back here for me, and now look what's happened," she said, running a hand through her hair. "You're tied to me, and I'm so weak. What happens if I get mugged or fall down the stairs and break my foot? Then you get hurt too. I should have thought this through; I should have talked to someone."

"It wouldn't have mattered," Starscream said, his voice soft. "Alexis, every bond is different. We share feelings now because some part of us wants to be as close to each other as we can."

Alexis stared at him, her eyes widening. A slight blush was coloring her cheeks, but it hadn't quite reached her ears.

"Why didn't you tell me you were kissing me?" Alexis asked.

Starscream blanked. He hadn't been expecting that—at least, not yet. With everything that had happened after she had accidentally kissed him, he hadn't thought about what to tell her when they finally talked about it. The only thing he could think to tell her was the truth.

"I didn't want you to know," he said. "It meant I could keep getting away with it."

Alexis looked like he had punched her in the stomach.

"You weren't going to tell me?" she asked, her lips barely moving.

"Not if I could avoid it," he said. "I didn't want you to know the extent of my feelings for you."

"Why?"

"Because then the bond would get stronger, but it doesn't matter now. You know, and as a result we are both very much involved with each other."

"We were already involved with each other," Alexis exploded, beginning to pace. "The very first night I found you told me you loved me, but that's the only discussion we've had on the matter. We share a bed, and now we practically share a brain, but I'm still not sure what type of relationship this is, or what type of relationship you want."

She stopped pacing and just stared at him.

"What do you want?" she asked, finally.

Starscream didn't say anything, choosing instead to deactivate his holoform. It took him about two minutes to get back to Alexis in his original body, and he could feel the hurt and confusion rolling off her in waves. When she finally looked up at him, he tried his best to look apologetic.

He opened a small compartment right below his spark chamber and, without taking his eyes off of Alexis, pulled out what looked like an old patch-work quilt. Alexis's eyes widened and she gasped. She ran over to him and he sat down so she could climb up onto his leg and examine the cloth up close. She ran her fingers over the aged fabric and clumsy stitches, her anger forgotten.

"Do you understand?" Starscream asked. "I do love you, Alexis, but that's the only way I can describe our relationship. I just want to stay by your side and protect you from muggers and stairs."

Alexis smiled softly and looked up at him. The anger was gone, but he knew they would have to talk about this again later.

"Ok," she sighed. "That's fine with me—for now."

The two of them were silent for a while as Alexis marveled over the old blanket. She had made it for Starscream—with the help of the boys, although they were unbelievably uncoordinated with a needle and thread—years and years ago, when she was still in junior high. It had been a sort of congratulatory/thank you gift, and she had seen him use it to polish his saber.

"How did you even find this?" she asked, remembering how he had thrown it away when he left the Autobots.

"The things we care about always seem to find a way back to us," he said quietly, watching Alexis.

She laughed at that, her dark hair falling in front of her face. Starscream used the very tip of his finger to brush it back, being careful of her bruise. He was surprised when she grabbed hold of him and scrambled into his palm.

"Lift me up?" she asked, batting her eyelashes.

He chuckled and lifted her so she was eye-level with him.

"Closer," she said, her voice soft.

He gave her a wary look before moving her closer to him. She could reach out and touch his face if she wanted to.

She did want to.

Before he could stop her, Alexis stood up in his palm, leaned forward, and gently placed her forehead against his.

"I love you, too," she whispered.

* * *

"_Three months."_

_ The femme sitting in front of him looked up from his feet._

"_Three months till what, love?" she asked, her voice as smooth and gentle as a purr._

"_I give Starscream and Alexis three months before they loose control of the bond," he said. "You should have seen them, my dear. They looked just as we used to when we first bonded."_

"_Desperate, stupid, and hopelessly in love?" the femme guessed, her optics bright and innocent._

_The bot sitting above her smiled and stroked the side of her face._

"_I get closer and closer with every try," he sighed. "Tell me, how's your pet doing?"_

_The femme frowned and her shoulder's slumped._

"_Absolutely no fun at all," she said. "He keeps insisting that Alexis will figure out who you are. Honestly, if you didn't need him for that special holoform device you stole, I'd have killed him by now."_

_The bot narrowed his eyes._

"_Are you—complaining?" he asked, his voice hardening almost instantly. "I have given you a play thing. You should be grateful I even allowed you in the same room as him. He's incredibly important to me—for the moment."_

_The femme realized her mistake and tried to back away, but the bot had grabbed her around the throat._

"_Please," she begged. "Another chance?"_

"_Oh no, my dear," the bot said, charging his blaster and bringing it to her head. "My Elita would have never acted ungrateful if I had presented her with something. She would have cherished it. Apparently, I still have some work to do."_

_He pulled the trigger, ending Elita Clone 126. Maybe it was crooked of him to try and resurrect his dead love in this way. _

_But he had always been a little sideways._

**A/N: **Hey there! It's me again! Remember when I said I was going to try outlining? It didn't work as well as I'd hoped. :/ Well, Merry Christmas/ Happy Holidays, here's my latest chapter! It's a little short, but you romantics are going to LOVE what I have planned for the next one. ;) So REVIEW.

Seriously. I get inspired by reading my reviews. The more I have, the better off I am. I swear. And I have a solid break before school starts again...plenty of opportunities for writing. REVIEW.


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